6 things I believe brought on my near death experience.

I believe the things that really brought it about were;

1-My begging in prayer for an experience, while desiring nothing else. I have been very egger and patient, keeping my "eyes open" knowing it is coming. Also my practice with "A Course in Miracles", and my intuitive writing has assisted in many similar experiences.

2-The week prier we participated at "choose-again" costa-rica (http://www.choose-again.com) and did some breath work called hidrotropic, where many say they have "acid like tripping experiences", and "remembered my birth". Even though all three times I did it, there were many healing releases and flash backs, but not like this. (http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-holotropic-breathwork.htm)

3-Then when we got home I was given some MJ caramels, which I have had before, but not this experience. It did seem to open up the realm for me, though I hesitate on sharing this only because I do not want you to misunderstand that they actually had a part in this. It was the power, dedication and willingness I had that gave them power at all.

4-We were in a new place, that I have not slept in yet, and being in visual proximity of the "bell rock vortex" here in Sedona, might play a part.

5-Also, I was told in the last breathing to "embrace the cold" which I also did at the time, and I laid flat on my back in bed, while my partner Zoe laid on her side holding me kinda like a baby, my size. Her arm and leg alone draped over me.

I remember her voice telling me it is ok, I would get a few words out saying how beautiful it was. She would seem to disappear in and out of existence as I could not see and I was in a point of decision, almost an intense trance. After I did choose out of fear to stay, I was resentful and had days of undoing. I seemed to take it out on her because I was upset that I had to stay because of her as if I believed she would be lost without my guidance, and my family, how sad they would be that I am away traveling so much, and this so called "purpose" of my life. I started to really comprehend the meaninglessness of my life, and my mind kept trying to convince me it is because I have not made an impact in this world, that I have not helped enough, or received the recognition as a philosopher I feel I deserve. I quickly and currently remain to brush it aside and remember the light, and how beautiful its emptiness was. It achieved everything I want, simply by being there. I Love it, it is Love and it expressed as truly pure uncontrollable Joy!

I do want to induce the experience further, and possibly with no return, unfortunately I believe the angst pushes it away. The following day, I wrote up my last words to my family and everyone interested, just incase. I am aware that the world might not even be around if I went through that door, but it eased my fear a bit.

PS. I must say, I was not even in the awareness of remembering that I was me, I really do feel like I was that intense Joy... It was so beautiful!!!

6-I feel my meditation practice has been a big part as well, check the courses out. all over the world, donation base 10 day course. http://dhamma.org


I do wish this experience of joy for everyone!

Advise to lose still alive and unhappy, at all,

Advise to lose still alive and unhappy, at all,

Follow the intuition you hide under your fear. There is nothing to fear, go and do what you dreamed, not for gain, but for the fulfillment of your heart. If you like books, I strongly suggest keeping your eyes open for inspiring words that spark that Beautiful feeling within, it may not be understandable, but it will always lead you to Joy.

Keep following, for in the end it is Joy that you feel, if you do not feel it, don't worry your still on the journey and its not over yet, keep following in perfect Faith, for you must feel it soon. Pray often, for today could be the day you pass, and if your friends with the creator you won't run in fear when you meet again.

Pray with out seising, for there is never a moment you do not share with God, so why not acknowledge Him? He gides your every step, and book, and video. Don't be afraid of temptation, for there is none. The only temptation you might seem to have is to forget you are with God always. If you Knew who walked with you, fear would be impossible.

Remember THAT as you go through your life. You will seem to do many things, but the only things you do that is meaningful is remember your relationship with the divine. Do things to help you remember you are not alone, whatever it takes.

Remember you are not alone. Service is the greatest gift you can give to yourself, when you believe it is posable to be alone. Every body is a different mission for the Divine in all to be awakened.

Start with yourself. If there is One thing Important that I have learned is that it is always a lesson God would have ME learn. As I embrace Love completely, all are saved by Love. Seek that, if you must seek for anything. Love is the only thing worth finding, and it is never outside yourself. I may share my love with someone else, but the Love that God shares with us individually is the Love we Live for.

All the toys and trinkets you posses, and the family and friends you have developed could only show you the Love that You are, accept yourself and Love is everywhere! Be at peace, there is no need to conflict, feel happy, there is nothing not bringing you to God's embrace, know the Love within, because it is when you do, that you find it everywhere.

Thank You all, for every moment.

Dear this whom I helped,

Dear this whom I helped,

My service to you was my gift, hoping I could mount up to the service you offer me while you shine so bright. Pass on the Love, pass on the service. You are important, You are a unique expression, and a pure been of Love that everyone needs. There is always someone to help, even if it is yourself. The only way to feel Loved, is to give it. The only way to Peace is to teach it, by being an example of Peace. Thank You for helping me, if you were not there for me to teach what I would learn, I could not have learned it.

Thank You for your support in my life, I needed it.

Dear those I may have disappointed,

Dear those I may have disappointed,

I am happy to write you, because even though it seemed like I strayed, I could never do what I was not meant to do. I was created to fulfill the purpose, that has been fulfilled. I had no choice in the matter, Nor do you. Be Yourself, and don't fear or doubt your-self. It is perfect, you are perfect. That is all I want you to remember of us. I could not have disappointed you, because you have fulfilled your purpose in me. If you were different, so would I be. Then I would not be exquisitely joyful now as I am. Please be yourself, for it was a blessing to me. If you feel you do not know how to be, follow my footsteps.

Read into it, upside-down and backward ;)

Dear Mom and Dad,

Dear Mom and Dad,

I remembered my birth the other day, and all the days in-between. I remember being cold as I was taken from the womb. I was file with an uncontrollable joy as I was held gently, I couldn't speak, because I was only joyful, I could not stop giggling. I remember learning what pain was, I remember learning what not to do, and most of all I remember forgetting. My life flashed before my eyes, and all I can say is it really was an enjoyable misunderstood journey. Thank You for the bravery you had to follow your heart. Please don't act out of fear, that is the opposite of faith, faith simply Loves and enjoys life as it is.

I know there was times it was hard to say,

I Love You.

Dear those I have been close to,

Dear those I have been close to,

You don't need to ask if it is you, and it is not non-of you. You and I had our moments together, and each one helped me to build my world as I See it now. I could not Know the world they way I do, without these little moments together. You and I spent a whole piece of eternity together, and that eternal moment is what is Holy to me.

Even if it was up or down, I needed it, and it was most definitely perfect. I am filled with uncontrollable joy as I sit here with you, and forgive it all. Good or bad, I forgive them and give them to the divine to decipher. You are forever One with me. Thank You for my Life, it would have been a lonely world with out You. You make it shine!

Thank You, for You.

Dear Family,

Dear Family,

I may seem gone, and my body may seem to lay lifeless. But I assure you I am full of Life and I have never gone anywhere. I know we have not seen much of each-other over the past few years, But I assure you it was only for the pursuit of perfect peace of mind, and the realization of who I truly am.

I write this letter today, knowing I have seen the light, I almost went right into it the other day, when I remembered the pain I thought I would be projecting onto all of you, as I would leave you wondering. The world will try to explain to you the reasons for my "death" but I assure you again, that could not be True for I actually am currently embracing LIFE, Real Life. The church has told us that we chose to go with Jesus, and thats why we came here to Earth to be tested, well I passed, with perfect faith and Love I walked through the door that everyone fears, "death". Choose again and see that this world is not the choice to be with Jesus, but the choice to be separate from the exalted. Everything is God's Will, He gave you free will only to believe there is another, Trust Me, there is not.

The Light is not a place you go, when you make it through the tunnel. It is the essence of life that you are, and have learned from the world to suppress behind a tunnel. I have not left you, even if I do not raise in this motionless body. I am here, leave your eyes open and watch the signs I leave for you. I would only return to help you, because I do care.

I know it may seem I have waisted my life away, and read into the work of the devil. This is exactly what "Lucifer" would want you to believe. But I assure you again, I have not, nor have you, nor is it possible to go against God the all-powerful. It is TRUE I speak from experience; You are the Light of the world, and You are meant to shine, and you will do just that when you forgive it all and forget it all. The war rages only in our mind, You are the kingdom of heaven and you still battle good and evil. What is all encompassing could have no opposite! Embrace only Love, and the war is over!

If I seem gone with nothing said to you, this is what I request for you. Forgive. Forget and Be Free. I Love you all and have enjoyed every minute with you. The Beauty of our family is my motivation. Please stick together, and most of all do not be afraid to follow the intuition you hide in your heart. If they take you different directions, stick with your heart as I have, it is God wishing you perfect happiness, don't turn that down. I Love you personally, and am grateful you existed with me.

I Love You, I really do.