I believe the things that really brought it about were;
1-My begging in prayer for an experience, while desiring nothing else. I have been very egger and patient, keeping my "eyes open" knowing it is coming. Also my practice with "A Course in Miracles", and my intuitive writing has assisted in many similar experiences.
2-The week prier we participated at "choose-again" costa-rica (http://www.choose-again.com) and did some breath work called hidrotropic, where many say they have "acid like tripping experiences", and "remembered my birth". Even though all three times I did it, there were many healing releases and flash backs, but not like this. (http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-holotropic-breathwork.htm)
3-Then when we got home I was given some MJ caramels, which I have had before, but not this experience. It did seem to open up the realm for me, though I hesitate on sharing this only because I do not want you to misunderstand that they actually had a part in this. It was the power, dedication and willingness I had that gave them power at all.
4-We were in a new place, that I have not slept in yet, and being in visual proximity of the "bell rock vortex" here in Sedona, might play a part.
5-Also, I was told in the last breathing to "embrace the cold" which I also did at the time, and I laid flat on my back in bed, while my partner Zoe laid on her side holding me kinda like a baby, my size. Her arm and leg alone draped over me.
I remember her voice telling me it is ok, I would get a few words out saying how beautiful it was. She would seem to disappear in and out of existence as I could not see and I was in a point of decision, almost an intense trance. After I did choose out of fear to stay, I was resentful and had days of undoing. I seemed to take it out on her because I was upset that I had to stay because of her as if I believed she would be lost without my guidance, and my family, how sad they would be that I am away traveling so much, and this so called "purpose" of my life. I started to really comprehend the meaninglessness of my life, and my mind kept trying to convince me it is because I have not made an impact in this world, that I have not helped enough, or received the recognition as a philosopher I feel I deserve. I quickly and currently remain to brush it aside and remember the light, and how beautiful its emptiness was. It achieved everything I want, simply by being there. I Love it, it is Love and it expressed as truly pure uncontrollable Joy!
I do want to induce the experience further, and possibly with no return, unfortunately I believe the angst pushes it away. The following day, I wrote up my last words to my family and everyone interested, just incase. I am aware that the world might not even be around if I went through that door, but it eased my fear a bit.
PS. I must say, I was not even in the awareness of remembering that I was me, I really do feel like I was that intense Joy... It was so beautiful!!!
6-I feel my meditation practice has been a big part as well, check the courses out. all over the world, donation base 10 day course. http://dhamma.org
I do wish this experience of joy for everyone!
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